The Backstory

So in my introduction I made a silly joke about not having a degree at the school of balance. There’s many factors in my life that have brought me to where I am today and I’ll share some of those pivotal moments with you.

Let’s start in High School just like every great 90’s teen movie should. I was the yearbook photographer throughout High School and I wore very eclectic clothes. I couldn’t really say I was punk or a particular style but I did dye my whole head purple once and I had a phase where I wore a plastic tiara for probably 8 months or so. So your girl was not afraid to stand out. And since I was photographing random students of all grades, basically everyone knew who I was. I got to know a lot of people and I had a fairly solid friend group near the end of High School but I was probably best described as a social butterfly. 

I grew up in Quebec which means the next step after High School is CEGEP. It’s basically College but it’s super cheap and they have programs that are more technical or hands-on. So I applied and was happily accepted to the Professional Photography program. 

My dream at the time was to be “the” photographer for Roxy or any surfing, skateboarding brand with beautiful advertisements that were plastered all over my bedroom walls. Once completing the three year program I was able to determine that these brands do not have just one photographer, and likely the photographers who work for the brand are not always the same who photograph advertisements. Sometimes advertisements use stock photography! Damn! What now?

I had to pivot my dream a bit. 

And pivoting your dream, plan or goal requires you to start maintaining a balance. In the simplest terms it’s like making a list of pros and cons but about things you like doing versus not. Sometimes this can help determine what path you should move towards. And ultimately, focusing your energy on what you’re good at. 

So after photographing a couple dozen weddings and working full time at one of the toughest customer service jobs (which is balance in itself btw) I decided I wanted a bachelor degree in advertising. Living in Quebec, there wasn’t a huge selection of english advertising programs that I could apply to, let alone a bachelor advertising program. So the choice was either Ontario or Australia. 

Parents liked Ontario more, and it was half the cost of tuition in Australia, so I started packing up my car. I was 20 years old and there were a lot of youngins fresh out of High School who were in the advertising program so I felt a bit alienated. I also continued to work at the tough customer service job as well, but I transferred to a local store in the greater Toronto area and went part time. That was also a weird experience because I had made so many friends at my previous store so it was like walking into a parallel universe except you have to make friends with everyone and as a bonus: you’re a fucking alien. So the transition was hard and this social butterfly felt like their wings were falling off a bit. But it just took some time and (yup) balance, and I managed to start flying again. 

Something that kept me going as much as it seems like I had no free time was signing up at the gym. Running has and always will be my time to decompress and just filter all my unorganized thoughts. Running definitely doesn’t do the job for everyone, but others might use meditation or swimming (also love swimming) So I do think that keeping up a consistent habit outside of school and work can help contribute to healthy balance. You know those kids who would practically brag about staying at school super late working on a project? Yeah that was not me and I was a-okay with that. 

So fast forward to 2017, I got my first full time job in advertising and I quit the tough customer service job which was actually life changing and opened up a lot more room for balance. I had thought about quitting for a long time, but the money was too good to let go. Even after quitting my savings definitely took a hit, but I was much, much happier. 

And then I got fired. 

I was mortified. 

From working two jobs and living life in my super modern one bedroom apartment by the lake, I had to make a really tough decision. I looked at my bank account, packed a bag, hopped in the car and drove back to Montreal. 

I called my best friend at the time and she was luckily not working for the next two days so we hung out, drank excessive amounts of wine, and then I went to my parents place.  At this point, unlike how I had to rethink my life goal because some ads use stock photos, I didn’t even know where to start. I took a few days and then came to the first step; I needed money. Therefore, I needed a job. Baby steps. (I’ll say this a lot throughout the blog.)

But what job should I apply for? How can I get back into advertising if I got fired from my first go at it? Well, now was not exactly the time to be picky. So I worked some really basic graphic design jobs which I didn’t love. Stayed in Quebec for about 8 months and kept in contact with a lot of my friends in the industry back in Toronto. Turns out one of my friends needed a room mate and I got a job offer for a company in Toronto which was willing to pay me a bigger salary than I ever had before. After 6 months I realized this was in no way my dream job and I really felt like the clock was ticking (it wasn’t, I was just young and naive) so I got another new job, but I’ve been working there for three years now and I absolutely love it. Also, shortly after getting this new job I met the man who is now my fiancé so I guess you can say things were really headed in the right direction. We had an amazing condo together and both worked in advertising, so we really understood each other’s work frustrations and first world problems and such. 

That’s pretty much the backstory up until the pandemic hit in March 2020, where all our lives, including yours, drastically changed. Working from home in a condo I once loved became so unfulfilling and as many colleagues on zoom said, groundhog day vibes. So once again, a pivot was in order. A balance check. Are you happy? What do you really want and is it realistic to work towards it? After assessing the low hanging fruit that we needed more space, we discovered the real estate market was hot and our bank accounts were just loving the fact that we had nothing to spend money on other than groceries, so we bought a house. We moved two hours north of Toronto in a beautiful little town by the lake and I don’t think I’ve ver felt like I have a better long term plan. But damn, it was a long term roller coaster to get there. And the moral of the story is — that’s okay. Not only can you not rush happiness, but it’s not always something you can control. Like getting fired, or adhering to new laws because of a global pandemic. 

I needed to pivot a lot in order to get to where I am today and part of the reason I wanted to share these stories (including this giant story) with you is to impose a sense of hope, but also security in knowing that you’re not alone in dealing with major forks in the road. Balance stems from doing these audits and can help filter your day to day into things you enjoy doing. 

You can do a little bit each day, and then accomplish a lot over time.

💡